Drunk Trump Cocktail Menu
Hello lovelies
When we opened this little bar in the wonderful small town of Beloit Wisconsin, this was our debut menu. Our inaugural menu if you will.
5 drinks recapping the 4 year presidency of Donald Trump
The idea wasn’t to be an aggressive progressive, but to play around with something relevant to the time of our opening, that wasn’t food.
Why on Earth did we pick Trump? We never know, don’t waste your time on that question. What you should be asking is “When can I get these?”
April 1 2023 till April 20 2023, when we drop our 420 Menu.
Original Drunk Trump Instagram post here
Original Drunk Trump blog post of the menu here
The MAGA-Rita itself
The goal here is to poke some fun and see these drinks as satire, a culinary-commentary of the former US President Donald Trump. We took some of the news stories involving him and turned them into tasty drinks. We hope you enjoy them as much as we did and do.
We built our own small walls (yes, we paid for it) and place the tequila on the other side. You gotta hop the fence *wink
MAGA-Rita $14
0.5oz Del Maguey Mezcal on the side, 1.5oz Corazon Blanco, 0.5oz agave, 0.5oz lime juice, 1oz Topo Chico (Mexico), 4 saline drops
This cocktail is served with the promise of a shot of mezcal coming, but when it arrives it’s still on the other side of a fence. Why do we need a fence? Beats us, hop that fence and tango with us, pour some mezcal into that margarita. You can drink the mezcal as-is and enjoy it on the side, or take a nice sip and drop the shot into the drink, its all up to you, no rules.
If Donald Trump described the drink:
The taste balances a lot of things, it’s a very good balance, the best balanced flavor ever. No one can balance so much flavor in one drink. And look, there’s the wall I promised, didn’t I tell you we’d make it?
We broke the cotton candy machine, so this one won’t be on the menu right now, sorry.
Im-Peach-Mint (Not available at this time, cotton candy machine MIA)
2oz Appleton Rum, 0.75oz lime juice, 0.75oz lime skin syrup, 5oz soda, 5 muddled mint leaves, peach cotton candy comb over, a single (term) straw
The aromatic-contradiction, looking down from the top it’s a pile of sweet peach aroma. When you take a sip you’ll instantly feel the carbonic acids tip-toe across your tongue carrying small pieces of mint. The flavor is nothing of peach, though that’s what you read, see, smell, even expect. You’re welcome. Ready to order four more (years)?
The cotton candy is perched on a dried orange disc so it doesn’t dissolve. Pull the dried up old orange and the peach will drop in and flavor the drink itself.
If Trump described it:
You’ll never find a cocktail with better hair. Wow. Just look at it. I want to grab it right now.
A blend of both rum and Jack Daniels, it actually works pretty well.
Dark & Stormy Daniels $130,000 / 10,000 ($13)
1oz Jack Daniel’s, 1oz Gosling Black Strap Rum, 0.5oz lemon juice, 0.5oz blonde sparkling turmeric blend, roughly 4oz house-made ginger beer
We personally consider the Dark & Stormy as original Moscow Mule, here is our own riff on the Dark & Stormy. Inspired by the 2018 Stormy Daniels porn star and Trump sex scandal.
When we made this one, we didn’t know it would be the pinpoint that got Donald Trump indicted, wild.
If Trump described it:
The $130,000 non-disclosure agreement prevents me from an official comment at this time.
We love coffee cocktails here
The White House Russian $9
1.5oz non-Russian Vodka, 0.5oz Kapali Rum, 2oz Diet Coke, served with a straw
Time Magazine (link) posted this little insight about Trump’s love of Diet Coke, 12 per day? Incredible. There’s also some rumors about Russians having a video, or something about auto-bots on Facebook? Anyways, the Kapali covers up the Diet Coke aspartame aftertaste, a little bubbles are nice, aren’t they? We did it with cold brew and liked it, but our Diet Coke fans (3 present) actually didn’t, so, we took it out. Also the cream wasn’t really needed, so, here we are.
If Trump described it:
Once you taste this drink you’ll always call White Russians by the new name, the better name, we’ll all call them White House Russians. Look, we all do now, there’s no question or need for an investigation, I’d know. Everyone does it. People can’t help but be Putin in orders for more. It’s Facebook official. This is the best drink on the menu. I drink 12 per day, hold the vodka.
Remember at this time we were still in lockdown and voting via mail, served in a coupe now
Absinth-Tea Ballot $11
1.5oz jasmine green tea infused with Aviation Gin, 1oz Chinese pear puree, 0.25oz lime juice, 4oz soda, absinthe mist, served in a collins glass
This is the favorite cocktail on the menu this month. The jasmine really has a chance to shine and take center stage along side the Aviation Gin.
These are Levi’s tasting notes from the gin and why it was selected this year, over the lovely Botanist Gin. Tasting notes: crisp, juniper alongside delicate (it is gin) floral sweetness, violets, a touch of citrus peel and some green vegetal notes in there too, with a pinch of spice (finishing alcohol flavor). You can tell why this pears (pun) so well with the pear and jasmine infusion.
Did you know Aviation Gin is made in Portland, OR?
#MakeAmericanGin lol
Did we try to source Goya Pear? You bet your bridges we did…
If Trump described it:
The best thing to come out of China. We actually grow the pears here in the USA. They grow better here, so much more flavor. People love them, they say “Wow, what else can we grow in the USA?” because they're so good. And I don’t really know, can we grow more things? *looks over shoulder for help* I think the economy can grow here. Yeah, let’s grow more food though, I think. Everyone eats food, so that’s great, very good. We can even grow our own gin, I think. Let’s get someone really amazing on growing our own gin, maybe a celebrity or someone important? What is that Ryan Reynolds fella up to these days?